I didn’t want to go. I couldn’t imagine leaving my kid and being that far away for that many days. I resented the word “Vegas” because it meant abandoning my kid.
Holy crap, I had a blast. I want to go back right now. Shelby wouldn’t miss me, right?
I was really nervous about the flight, and unfortunately, we got to the airport 3 hours early so I had to dwell on it. I hate the takeoff. It scares me to death. Luckily, there was a “Champs” bar conveniently located next to our gate, which meant I had no problems with the takeoff, but I had a massive headache when we arrived in Vegas. We got to the hotel and hiked for four miles aimlessly while we looked for our room. Everyone we tried to ask for directions was either from someplace Asian, or didn’t have their hearing aids turned up, and just nodded and smiled when we asked them where room 1848 was. After we finally found it we found a gift shop that sold Advil, and had prime rib for dinner and crashed extremely hard for about 10 hours.
The rest of it was a blur. We didn’t gamble much, maybe spent about $20 between the two of us. We walked the strip a few times during the day and at night, and went to Fremont street, which was extremely cool and weird. We visited Hoover Dam one day, and the next we took a road trip to Mesquite to meet the ex’s boyfriend.
The odd part was…I was hoping this trip would bring out some stuff we didn’t like about eachother and it didn’t happen (well for me anyway. Of course it couldn’t have been HIM that woke up in the middle of the night in a tiny hotel room with explosive…well, never mind.) But anyway, there were no arguments, no tense moments, no disagreements…just peace. I spouted off my opinion a couple of times about the upcoming move, but Wayne just quietly moved on to the next topic in his…quiet, non-confrontational Wayne way. There was NO drama. AT ALL. I didn’t even cry or nothing (well, until the plane ride home when he fell asleep with his head on mine, but I swear it’s because he drooled, not because I was a totally emotional mess that I am losing this guy in 3 weeks or anything.)
What sucks though, is I am in denial. I don’t want to reminisce over this trip. I don’t want to see pictures of anything except the ones I took or hear about anything Vegas. I’ve put blinders on so I can’t see what is behind me or next to me but I have my eyes shut so I can’t see what’s in front of me, either. Thank God I’m busy this week. I guess I don’t want anything to ruin what little time we have left. He texted me yesterday that he has a job interview in 3 weeks and I had to force myself to text back a “congrats” instead of throwing my phone across the room. He wanted me to help him find a camper shell for his truck for his move and I wanted to tell him to shove his truck up…well, never mind that. Like I told a friend, I keep praying that God will give us more time so I can learn to not like him since that seems to be what happens in all my other relationships! I guess that’s just not the plan, though. The more time we spend together, the worse it gets and the angrier I get.
I’ve been through worse. I keep telling myself that. I can get through this. It just sucks when you know that it IS something that can be changed, but no one wants to change it.
No comments:
Post a Comment