· Just when you think your five year old is evolving from “monster” to “human being” she throws a ten minute long temper tantrum because you refuse to buy her a guinea pig, and soaks 6 Kleenexes in the bathtub and sticks them to the ceiling.
· I will never be able to listen to the song “Colder Weather” by Zac Brown ever again without going into a 3 day long depression. In fact, my lip quivered just now when I typed this.
· Some of life’s best conversations can be with someone who dialed a wrong number.
· Shelby can actually make it one whole day without having an “Ouch Report” written up on her.
· I wanna be a pilot.
· Anyone who drives into the great unknown with a cat and two dogs, no job and no home, and settles for a roach infested $50 a week room next to a homeless shelter all for his son and gets absolutely no credit whatsoever, is a fantastic, devoted father.
· Blessings can come in the form of 13 year old girls who gladly will watch your daughter so you can run to the grocery store in peace for a mere pack of Orange Sherbet gum and pizza for dinner as payment.
· Grown men in business suits turn into befuddled little boys with goofball grins when they see a miniature horse at their office.
· Just when you think things can’t get worse, they do. And then, they get better.
· Wayne’s not coming back.
· Dogs will drag their butt on the carpet, no matter what the consequences are.
· Sometimes a beer and a frozen pizza with your best friend is just what the doctor ordered.
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