Sunday, January 16, 2011

Mysteries

How is it a big container of cheese balls costs $6.99, but a part that is going to fix my toilet, stop it from leaking and running, and reduce my water bill by twenty bucks a month costs $1.19?
How can a 12 pound cat eat 4 mouthfuls of food, and vomit three times his body weight all over the carpet?
Why can I instantly calm and talk down an 800 lb horse that has decided to go airborne and try to kick the snot out of anyone within reach, but I can’t gracefully drag a 40 pound kid out of a store, kicking and screaming because I ran out of quarters for the claw machine?
Why do ink cartridges cost $39 a piece but a new printer that contains two of them costs $19.99?
Why can I walk into a salon and get my hair cut for about $20 but I paid $82 for Petsmart to shave my dog and cut his nails?
How can the dog pick out and set aside all of the lamb pieces of food in his bowl and refuse to eat them, but he’ll eat a cat turd?
And while we are on that subject, why will the dog go crazy over a grape flavored kid’s Benadryl tablet but he won’t eat a piece of bacon?
How can a 5 year old girl dart into traffic, jump into the deep end of a swimming pool, slide down a flight of stairs face first, climb anything that looks fun for climbing, run up to any strange dog in the neighborhood without even batting an eye, but not be able to go to the bathroom in our own home by herself because there are monsters in there?

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