Saturday, January 1, 2011

Love Stories

I just watched a love story by force, basically.   It got me really thinking about romance movies and how unrealistic they are and how they give young girls (and of course, men of all ages because they never learn) the wrong idea about stuff.  I’ve compiled a list of things you see in romantic movies that just aren’t right.
1.        No one ever wakes up with morning breath in these movies.  They wake up and kiss passionately.  It makes me cringe every time.
2.       The men are always dressed appropriately, maybe even a little on the boring side.  That is one thing I wish the men in my life DID pick up on when they are forced to watch romantic movies…There’s no high tops, (except Chuck Taylors, of course) no t-shirts with the sleeves ripped off, or with inappropriate phrases on them.  No frosted denim jackets or jeans that are about a half inch too short. 
3.       They always start out hating each other.  I don’t get that.  If a guy was that nasty to me, or wants me to chase him down, I think we would be pretty much done at that point.
4.       The guys in the movie always have great guy friends that they can talk about love with, with wistful looks on their faces.  In real life, I think any man that tries to talk to another man about “love” is either going to get his but kicked or he’s going to get called a name, such as “wuss” or “pansy”.
5.       The men always have pristine, beautifully decorated homes.  No secondhand furniture or posters tacked on the walls.  No bathrooms with no soap by the sink and dirty bath towels to dry your hands on.  They have bedskirts on the beds and stylish throw pillows, beautiful art on the walls.  Okay, I dated one guy that was an exception but he was madly in love with his ex-wife and probably did it all for her, since he moved her in the second we broke up.
6.         The men in these movies ALWAYS change their ways for their women, thus giving young girls (and old girls) the idea that if you force your way into a relationship with these bums, all of their downfalls will go away.  Suddenly, they start clipping their toenails, quit drinking, and develop a love for small children and cats that they didn’t have before.

Be aware, warn your young girls.  These types of movies should have disclaimers.  Because you know, I am so not jaded or bitter or anything like that.

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