Nevada

What I Have Learned About Desert Life

I haven’t been here long enough for this to be normal yet.  Every day is still new and exciting.  I would like to share with you a list of things I’ve experienced here in Henderson, Nevada.

·         I am the only person I’ve seen that doesn’t have a tattoo.  I have nothing against tattoos, and wouldn't mind sporting one myself one day if I could find the perfect one, but I feel that I have broken an unwritten law here.

·         My car overheats in the winter here, but if its 119 degrees outside, no worries.

·         If you have a gambling problem, do NOT move here.  There are slot machines in CVS, Smith’s (aka Kroger) and pretty much every gas station.  One gas station I’ve gone to even gives you free coffee for playing their slots.  They’ve got good coffee, too but I’m better off paying for it in cash, with my luck.  Trust me.

·         No one here is from here.  I’ve heard more New York accents here than I have ever heard anywhere and I’ve met a HUGE number of people from Indiana.  Oh, and none of us Hoosiers understand the dry heat theory.  It’s just freaking hot.

·         The bugs are phenomenal.  The FAA controls the flight patterns of the bugs out here, and all bugs have to carry their pilot’s licenses on them at all times to avoid paying heavy fines.   Right now, there is a dead bug on my front porch that I’m pretty sure got shot down by military aircraft for entering restricted airspace.  If you dare step out the front door late at night, they are so loud you can hear their footsteps as they run away.  I don’t think it’s because they are afraid of people, I think it’s because they sneak into your house and steal your beer and they are just trying not to get caught.  Or…maybe they think I’m with the FAA.

·         Toilet paper is cheaper out here.  I really don’t have a theory on that.

·         I can go out in public with my bangs in a ponytail on top of my head like someone out of a Dr. Seuss book, boxer shorts, a tank top and running shoes with yesterday’s make up on  and no one even bats an eye.  I know this for a fact because I do it at least twice a week.  But wear pantyhose…hell to the NO.  Every single person you walk past in the grocery store will stare at you, and every single child under the age of 4 at your kid’s daycare with tackle you just to touch your legs.

·         It is completely normal to see a tall skinny dude wearing a fur lined hunting cap, velvet tank top, and shorty shorts showing off his Michael Jackson moves with all his heart on the sidewalk across the street from your apartment complex.  What I once thought was strange, I now view with admiration.

·         In Indiana, 65 mile per hour wind gusts mean that you immediately need to move to an interior room in the lowest level of your house.  In Nevada, it means you don’t have to cancel your picnic plans just yet.

·         My church has a smoking area out front.  The worship band plays a rockin’ version of Guns ‘N Roses “Sweet Child of Mine”.

I don’t really know what to feel about all of these things just yet, but I wish you could see the things I get to see on a daily basis.  The Vegas strip in the distance at night.  Beautiful mountains everywhere you look.  Pine trees and palm trees living in harmony.  Elderly women in 48 pounds of makeup…you get the picture.

Desert Life

I'm making a resolution to keep up with my blog.  However, I make alot of resolutions and lets's just admit that I'm kinda lazy and I'm tired alot.  What's my excuse?  Absolutely nothing.  I'm honest.  So there.
While I am being honest, I had a brief relapse in my quest to quit smoking.  I blame it on alot of things...stress, money, stress, stress, and stress. 
My apartment is in constant shambles.  I've steam cleaned the carpet eight (yes, I am keeping count) times.  That's more months than I have lived here.  I'm engaged to a man whose idea of cleaning and making things look pretty is centering his big Igloo cooler that he takes to work every day in front of the fireplace.  I have a daughter who has a large amount of stuffed animals that are bigger than...me.  I talk to a cat that shows up on my porch every night just because she agrees with everything I say.  I speak, she says "yeah". It's nine minutes after midnight and a mere five minutes ago, I wrestled a 9 billion foot garden hose into a storage closet praying the whole time that a black widow or a lizard wasn't residing in it.
The heat...enough said.  Dry heat?  Okay, well yes, it is a dry heat, but all that means is that it feels more like opening the door to your oven to check on your cookies than opening the door to a bathroom where someone just took a hot shower.
The infamous Buick...well, she's a trooper, and I can say that because I was just bragging on her the other day and the traction control system immediately went out, and she gracefully threatened to overheat on Wayne while he was stuck in traffic the other day.  But that car, who is 10 years old has had the most amazing life in the past 7 months.  She transported my stepmom, my dad, and my mice across country without a complaint.  She has been up and down mountains, she's been to California twice and seen beaches and...
Holy crap, this is getting boring and monotonous.  Like I said, at least I'm honest.
In short...
Have you ever sat at your kitchen table and seen a mountain in the distance with the sun setting behind it?
Have you ever looked at someone you plan to marry and actually felt the love and trust radiating from them?
Have you ever looked at your kid and realized they are so happy they don't even know how to handle it?
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who has never held a grudge against you, or made fun of your feelings, or has ever made you feel like the way you acted out of anger was silly or stupid (even though it was)?
Have you ever been driving to work and saw something in the distance so beautiful it took your breath away...every day?
Despite all my griping, health problems, stress...
I can actually answer yes to all of those questions up there.