Euchre

This seems to be a week of recognizing all of my various weaknesses.  Or maybe it’s a hormonal thing.  Today’s topic is learning new things.  I SUCK at it.  You wouldn’t believe how many times I have had this exact conversation:

Card playing freak:  “Let’s play Euchre!” 

Me:  “I don’t know how.  I’ve tried to learn, I just can’t figure it out.”

Card playing freak:  “Oh it’s simple.  I will teach you.”

Me:  “No, seriously.  I’ve tried to learn.  I don’t get it.  Something in my brain is missing.  Like, the spot that is labeled “Euchre”.  I just can’t figure it out.”

Card playing freak:  “Yes, but you have never had ME as a teacher.  I’m really good at it, I can teach you  how.”

Me:  “Um, no.  A LOT of people have said that and haven’t been able to teach me.”

Card playing freak:  “Come on, let’s just play a couple of open hands, I will walk you through it, and I promise,  you will figure it out.”

Me:  “Look, I don’t know what part of this you don’t understand.  I can’t play Euchre.  I do not understand it.  I do not wish to understand it at this point.  I do not want to play it.  Count me out.  I’m not playing it.  I promise you, I am not making this up, I do not understand how to play Euchre.  It doesn’t work for me.   The person that invented the game couldn’t even possibly make me learn how to play it.  And if you mention it one more time, I am going to take those cards and shove them up your nostrils one by one.”

I’m real popular at parties, as you can imagine.

So whenever I get to my office and my boss wants to show me something new to lessen his workload, I immediately get my Euchre attitude.  My mind shuts down, and I turn into a 3 year old.  But finally, today, after 10 years of being an accounting clerk, it all fit together.  The fog lifted.  I knocked out an entire year of unpaid payroll liabilities, complete with W-2’s, W-3’s, WH-3’s for a company that didn’t know that they had to pay taxes on their employees.  I also figured out why it is I have to analyze the Trial Balance and what exactly to look for for each client, that it didn't have to be a massive struggle.  I almost felt like I won the lottery. 

I almost felt like learning how to play Euchre.