Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Why it Sucks Being Shelby

AKA:  Why Shelby is Spoiled and Has Everything a Kid Could Want Except a Pony

1.        Instead of mommy saying “Yes Dear” like all the moms on Disney channel when I call for her, I have to repeat myself 50 times before she yells “WHAAAAT???” like the mommy on Family Guy.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNkp4QF3we8
2.       Every night I lay in bed to watch a movie while I fall asleep, and every night the dog sits down right in front of the TV so I can’t see it.
3.       I keep getting busted when I hide and put on mommy’s lipstick.  Every freakin’ time.  It’s like she has radar or something.  Same with her perfume.  What is a French lady of the night, anyway?
4.       Mommy’s boyfriend’s kid openly can’t stand me, and tells his daddy right in front of me how he and his mommy sit around and talk about how ridiculous I am.
5.       The day after Mother’s Day I got really upset that night because at school during circle time, all the kids talked about what they got their moms for Mother’s Day and how the daddies took them shopping to buy the presents.
6.       When mommy’s not crabbing around the house cleaning and complaining about what a mess it is, she’s got her nose in a John Sandford book.
7.       Mommy lets me get away with staying up late and then complains when I won’t get up in the morning.
8.       I have to go to daycare while my mom goes off and plays with horses all day.
9.       I have a strong suspicion that when my mom is home and I am not, a lot of my toys disappear.
10.   Every time I ask for something new, my mom says “Uh, two dogs, two mice, 3 fish and a dog…remember those?”

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